just got home at about 2.30 just now. meeting up with my secondary school clique reminds me yet again how much i missed sec 4 life. got pretty disappointed by repeated lies and empty promises that i ran out of the house the moment pauline asked me out. i didn't want to go at first because ah boon brought his dog along. but the overwhelming sadness just forced me out of the house in the end.

i miss pauline, sharlene and roseline so so so much! it suddenly seemed like everything had changed, but somehow remained the same. it was easy to talk, laugh and play with them as though we had not stop keeping in contact with each other. but yuhua had gone to army. so has yongjie. seeing them with their almost blad heads made me giggle like mad, but they graciously just retaliated my sudden outbursts (me: you look so ugly now!!) with a knock on my head. i miss them so so so so much!!

went to meet the guys who gave ah boon his dog. they had brought a golden retriever and siberian, i think? im not too sure of the breed. but they sure are HUGE. the head of the dogs were so much bigger than mine la! and they were extremely wet, saliva flicking everywhere. X)

but i had fun, genuine fun. i was pretty afraid of them at first because of their size and my own fear of dogs, but when i saw how trained and obedient they were, they reminded me so much like little kids that my heart just melted. the golden retriever was REALLY PRETTY, with his golden fur. it was simply a like-able face la. hees. and what made me like it so much was when it's owner dragged him to one side and told him not to move, he really stood in the same position, at the same place without moving a single inch!! it didn't even run when the other dogs started chasing each other around him la!! oh me mama, so so so so cute!! the golden retriever just stood there looking wistfully at the other 'free' dogs. when me and sharlene tried to lure it by giving him food, the dog simply looked at his owner and ignored us. SO SWEET RIGHT!! and he looked so pitiful when all the other dogs came back to our group and he stood there alone because his owner still hasn't given him the command word. so cute right!! should have taken a picture. ^^*

the name of the golden retriever is sniper, because he has this special act where he would fall flat on his side when his owner point his finger at it with his hand shaped as a gun and finally saying "bang". it was extremely extremely CUTE, i tell you!! i got so hyped up after seeing that that i kep requesting for the owner to do it. it was even done as a goodbye act for me when i had to leave. i miss the dog already..

the guys were pretty nice, considering how i just met them today. we started to chat quite easily and when one of the guys said that he had to go home to sleep, i earned myself some treats. :D

guy: i have to go home and sleep. tomorrow still got work!
me: where you work at?
guy: vivo
me + sharlene: VIVO?? where where?? (because both of us work there too. :D)
guy: New Urban Male
(me + sharlene nods going "ohhh")
me: (aside to sharlene) wa, new urban male only accepts good looking guys lehs....
guy: (overheard) hahaha! wa, ehs, i working from 12 to 5 tomorrow. remember to come find me, i give you 30% discount. must come fine me ah!!

LOLS. ain't he cute!! XD and frankly speaking, he IS cute. those boyish kind of cute. pretty tanned and mildly muscular too. new urban male does only accepts good looking males, i guess. im honestly comtemplating whether to finish my christmas shopping tomorrow at new urban male. XD but it will be pretty weird if i go too, wouldn't it? especially if i just met him for less than a day. hmmm.... :(

spent the entire day videoing. there's really nothing much to do la. even if im given the freedom to leave the house during the weekends, all i want to do was to stay at home. haas. gugu came and GOSH, they were awful. bunch of act smart people. if they were as good as they claimed, would laosim had suffered a stroke?? and they think i'm stupid.

finally finished me everyday everynight!! it was okay, i guess. the kissing scenes were GOOD. of course, what else can you expect from experienced actors like lee dong gun and kim sam soon? :D

i can't believe you did that. after taking my money claiming that you are in urgent need for it because you need to preorder it. during the past 2 months i had been asking you again and again if you had preordered it and when it's arriving and you've always said yes and that it would come soon. now i see that everything was a lie. why are you always doing stupid things like this? it is not the money that i feel bad for, it's you lifting my hopes, gaining my trust, then throwing it away into the dumpster, yet again. i feel so stupid, ignoring those warning bells in my mind when i realised that the albums SHOULD have arrived by now and choosing to believe you obstinately. i chose to trust you even though people around me planted seeds of doubts in me. "no, i believe her. she won't be like that.", that was my answer. second chances, second chances and more second chances. i questioned my sanity, i questioned my trust, i questioned my judgement. disappointment in you for betraying my trust, disappointment in you for letting me down, most importantly, disappointment in myself for trusting you when i knew i was most probably going to get hurt again. should i really just give in to mummy's frequent chiding of my over-trusting nature and from this moment on, give up on you too?

i'm going to learn to be not so trustful, even if it's family. some experience just scares you so much, you never want to allow yourself get hurt that way again. i'm going to depend on myself when it comes to monetary stuff. i'm never going to depend on you ever again. it's either money to me, or no talk at all. i'm surprised at how much this familiar sense of overwhelming disappointment is able to hit me so hard that i found it hard to breathe.

mummy's coming home soon!! in about, 19 hours later. YEAHS!! :D

---

tagreplies;

monster; hahaha. i didn't pester you to get me anything today!

just got home at about 2.30 just now. meeting up with my secondary school clique reminds me yet again how much i missed sec 4 life. got pretty disappointed by repeated lies and empty promises that i ran out of the house the moment pauline asked me out. i didn't want to go at first because ah boon brought his dog along. but the overwhelming sadness just forced me out of the house in the end.

i miss pauline, sharlene and roseline so so so much! it suddenly seemed like everything had changed, but somehow remained the same. it was easy to talk, laugh and play with them as though we had not stop keeping in contact with each other. but yuhua had gone to army. so has yongjie. seeing them with their almost blad heads made me giggle like mad, but they graciously just retaliated my sudden outbursts (me: you look so ugly now!!) with a knock on my head. i miss them so so so so much!!

went to meet the guys who gave ah boon his dog. they had brought a golden retriever and siberian, i think? im not too sure of the breed. but they sure are HUGE. the head of the dogs were so much bigger than mine la! and they were extremely wet, saliva flicking everywhere. X)

but i had fun, genuine fun. i was pretty afraid of them at first because of their size and my own fear of dogs, but when i saw how trained and obedient they were, they reminded me so much like little kids that my heart just melted. the golden retriever was REALLY PRETTY, with his golden fur. it was simply a like-able face la. hees. and what made me like it so much was when it's owner dragged him to one side and told him not to move, he really stood in the same position, at the same place without moving a single inch!! it didn't even run when the other dogs started chasing each other around him la!! oh me mama, so so so so cute!! the golden retriever just stood there looking wistfully at the other 'free' dogs. when me and sharlene tried to lure it by giving him food, the dog simply looked at his owner and ignored us. SO SWEET RIGHT!! and he looked so pitiful when all the other dogs came back to our group and he stood there alone because his owner still hasn't given him the command word. so cute right!! should have taken a picture. ^^*

the name of the golden retriever is sniper, because he has this special act where he would fall flat on his side when his owner point his finger at it with his hand shaped as a gun and finally saying "bang". it was extremely extremely CUTE, i tell you!! i got so hyped up after seeing that that i kep requesting for the owner to do it. it was even done as a goodbye act for me when i had to leave. i miss the dog already..

the guys were pretty nice, considering how i just met them today. we started to chat quite easily and when one of the guys said that he had to go home to sleep, i earned myself some treats. :D

guy: i have to go home and sleep. tomorrow still got work!
me: where you work at?
guy: vivo
me + sharlene: VIVO?? where where?? (because both of us work there too. :D)
guy: New Urban Male
(me + sharlene nods going "ohhh")
me: (aside to sharlene) wa, new urban male only accepts good looking guys lehs....
guy: (overheard) hahaha! wa, ehs, i working from 12 to 5 tomorrow. remember to come find me, i give you 30% discount. must come fine me ah!!

LOLS. ain't he cute!! XD and frankly speaking, he IS cute. those boyish kind of cute. pretty tanned and mildly muscular too. new urban male does only accepts good looking males, i guess. im honestly comtemplating whether to finish my christmas shopping tomorrow at new urban male. XD but it will be pretty weird if i go too, wouldn't it? especially if i just met him for less than a day. hmmm.... :(

spent the entire day videoing. there's really nothing much to do la. even if im given the freedom to leave the house during the weekends, all i want to do was to stay at home. haas. gugu came and GOSH, they were awful. bunch of act smart people. if they were as good as they claimed, would laosim had suffered a stroke?? and they think i'm stupid.

finally finished me everyday everynight!! it was okay, i guess. the kissing scenes were GOOD. of course, what else can you expect from experienced actors like lee dong gun and kim sam soon? :D

i can't believe you did that. after taking my money claiming that you are in urgent need for it because you need to preorder it. during the past 2 months i had been asking you again and again if you had preordered it and when it's arriving and you've always said yes and that it would come soon. now i see that everything was a lie. why are you always doing stupid things like this? it is not the money that i feel bad for, it's you lifting my hopes, gaining my trust, then throwing it away into the dumpster, yet again. i feel so stupid, ignoring those warning bells in my mind when i realised that the albums SHOULD have arrived by now and choosing to believe you obstinately. i chose to trust you even though people around me planted seeds of doubts in me. "no, i believe her. she won't be like that.", that was my answer. second chances, second chances and more second chances. i questioned my sanity, i questioned my trust, i questioned my judgement. disappointment in you for betraying my trust, disappointment in you for letting me down, most importantly, disappointment in myself for trusting you when i knew i was most probably going to get hurt again. should i really just give in to mummy's frequent chiding of my over-trusting nature and from this moment on, give up on you too?

i'm going to learn to be not so trustful, even if it's family. some experience just scares you so much, you never want to allow yourself get hurt that way again. i'm going to depend on myself when it comes to monetary stuff. i'm never going to depend on you ever again. it's either money to me, or no talk at all. i'm surprised at how much this familiar sense of overwhelming disappointment is able to hit me so hard that i found it hard to breathe.

mummy's coming home soon!! in about, 19 hours later. YEAHS!! :D

---

tagreplies;

monster; hahaha. i didn't pester you to get me anything today!